Conversation as the place where we dwell
How we keep company with one another
What is a conversation?
As I tend to do when I’m initiating some sort of investigation, I looked up the etymology of the word and loved what I found:
“mid-14c., "place where one lives or dwells," and further in the entry “and directly from Latin conversationem (nominative conversatio) "frequent use, frequent abode in a place, intercourse, conversation," noun of action from past-participle stem of conversari "to live, dwell, live with, keep company with," passive voice of conversare "to turn about, turn about with".
This is a fascinating insight—a conversation is a space of communion as much as it is a space of communication; of intimacy and connectivity; of company, kith and kin; a space of turning and bending which to me, implies a dance, a choreography, an unspoken understanding of the ways we shape ourselves around each other. Through conversation, we form bonds.
Humans are given to bonding and commiserating for any number of reasons. We like to talk, and of course talking can mean many things, beyond the language of words. But why do we feel the need to do it? Some of these answers are straightforward. We like to expand our personal knowledge of each other or other things, the world around us; we like learning because after all, knowledge exchange is a form of survival, historically. But also, it’s culture-building in that knowledge is passed through generations of people to build culture, legacy, history, and society. Conversation is also storytelling, and the ways we deliver information to each other in the present, and across time, exhibits our creative range of interpreting the world around us to invent a descriptive and illustrative body of knowledge, histories, fantasies, and tales. Storytelling is both created, and co-created in societies, but also among smaller groups of people in subculture, and in families. We tell stories to entertain each other, we tell stories to share about our lives. Stories are the ultimate kind of conversation.
I think it’s important to think of the different ways co-creation shows up, as well—that conversation isn’t just expressed in words, but also nonverbal communication and cues such as body language, position, tone of voice; method, pace, and performance of gestures (including sign language); eye contact or other ways of looking if/when this is not possible; and how we demonstrate our active and dynamic attention both in person and online—just look at how emojis, gifs, and memes have taken over as an expression, punctuation, or emotive gesture in text-dominant spaces! It’s important to consider these points from a neurodivergent perspective. And it’s important to consider these points from an animist perspective. This is going to be a really important piece of some future material, so for those of you interested definitely bookmark that thought for contemplation!
Further reading for those interested:
Michel Foucault, The Archaeology of Knowledge and The Discourse on Language, Pantheon Books, New York
Rachel Adams, Michel Foucault: Discourse, Critical Legal Thinking, 2017 (online)
Ralph S. Hattox, Coffee and Coffeehouses, The Origins of a Social Beverage in the Medieval Near East, University of Washington Press, Seattle and London, 1985, pp 92-103